An old Joni Mitchell song reminds us, “don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.” Stop what you’re doing right now, look around and take a quick 30-second gratitude break. Take this moment to appreciate all the things you’d really miss if they were gone.

I’m writing about gratitude today because in the past couple of weeks, I’ve experienced some, shall we say “inconveniences” that have made me very grateful for the smallest things in my life…and also some of the largest. I’m really grateful for working indoor plumbing after the two weeks we spent having the floor in our master bath jackhammered; having to turn hot water on and off (at the water heater) each time we wanted to use it until we could locate and fix a leak in the plumbing.

Recently, on the hottest July 17 on record in Las Vegas (officially 116 degrees!), our power went out at 4 in the afternoon and remained off until midnight. Not only were we without air conditioning, lights and all the appliances we’ve come to rely on, but because our well is powered with electricity we had no water either! It has been a month that has tested my patience in many ways. But it has also strengthened my gratitude muscles significantly.

Today, my hot and cold water are running. The air conditioning is humming along keeping it a very comfortable 80 degrees in our home, and I’m sitting here as usual at my computer writing this message. Am I thankful? You bet! Oh and one more thing. On a trip back from Utah recently, a large blue tarp that had blown off of someone else’s vehicle, blew directly into my car. Fortunately it wrapped itself around the front end of the car instead of my windshield…and I am definitely grateful for that.

Now, look around you again and take stock right this minute of all you can be grateful for. Your computer is obviously working, you’re able to read, you’re breathing, hopefully the air conditioning where you are is working. You have family and friends who love you, care about you and to whom you matter. I’m grateful that my husband knows how to get things fixed around our house, and that in the event of another power outage, we’ve always got the swimming pool!

There is no shortage of things to be thankful for right now. There is only the shortage of attention to all you really have to be grateful for. Join me in making this gratitude day. Stop several times today and complete this sentence: “Right now, I am grateful for….” It may not change any negative circumstances immediately into positive ones, but if it changes your mind, brings a smile to your face and allows you to pass that grateful attitude along to others, then it may yet change your world.

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Quote of the Week
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“Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.”
~~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Betty Mahalik has been coaching small business owners, independent professionals and leaders who want to achieve more but stress less, since 1996. Her background includes several years in the broadcasting and public relations fields prior to starting her own firm in 1987. She is an accomplished public speaker and corporate trainer specializing in communications, goal-setting and leveraging your strengths. Since 2001, she has written a weekly motivational message, free to subscribers, titled Monday Morning Coach.

To subscribe or learn more about Betty’s coaching and training services, visit http://www.dynamic-coaching.com

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What’s the weather where you are? Not just in your city or neighborhood, but in the 10-foot radius around you personally. In Charles Dickens’ beloved classic, “A Christmas Carol,” Dickens describes Scrooge as someone who “carried his own low temperature about with him, and he didn’t thaw it one degree at Christmas.” In several coaching conversations recently, I’ve asked my clients what kind of personal climate they’re spreading at work or wherever they happen to be.

The subject has come up because they’ve been distressed about “stormy” conditions in their work places. As their coach, I’ve reminded them that none of us controls the entire climate where we live and work, but we can control the climate we bring to life, work and situations we encounter.

How about you? What is your personal climactic zone like? Do you bring sunshine and blue skies wherever you go? Or do you leave behind clouds and rain with complaints, negativity and pessimism? Do you bluster and blow with your opinions and high intensity emotions so that people are knocked off balance by your presence? One of the hallmarks of emotional intelligence is being able to monitor our emotions as well as our emotional impact on others, and moderate them to achieve positive results.

You may be wondering how you can create a positive personal climate when others around you are being negative, pessimistic or spreading gloom? How can you stay sunny and relatively cloud-free when it feels like you’re in the midst of a storm at sea?

There are two ways (I’m sure many others as well) that will allow you to spread more sunshine than rain: The first and perhaps most important is to CHOOSE how you want to think, feel and react to the circumstances around you. Ask yourself whether the thoughts you’re thinking and the emotional baggage you’re carrying around are improving your circumstances or making them worse. If you’re around someone who is spreading showers of doom and gloom, either change the subject or, if necessary, remove yourself from the situation. If you find yourself regularly in the company such folks, it’s time to set some boundaries so they don’t continue to rain on your parade. A boundary may be as simple as asking a question: “Do you think this is really helping our situation here?”, or assertively requesting that the person not use you as their dumping ground.

The second key to spreading sunshine instead of gloom is to remind yourself to focus your thoughts and energy ONLY on those things you have control over. Griping and complaining about someone or something is the equivalent of spinning your wheels when you’re stuck in the mud. What you focus on tends to expand, so stay focused on that which you can control or at least postitively influence.

Remember: you control your own personal weather zone. And the more consistently you speak and act in ways that spread sunshine instead of rain, the more you become an influence that can positively affect the larger climate of your family, your workplace and even your community. This week, pay particular attention to the weather where you are, and if it’s not warm and sunny, start making the minute-by-minute mood and attitude choices that will change your personal weather conditions.

Abraham Lincoln said it well: “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” How about you?

Betty Mahalik has been coaching small business owners, independent professionals and leaders who want to achieve more but stress less, since 1996. Her background includes several years in the broadcasting and public relations fields prior to starting her own firm in 1987. She is an accomplished public speaker and corporate trainer specializing in communications, goal-setting and leveraging your strengths. Since 2001, she has written a weekly motivational message, free to subscribers, titled Monday Morning Coach.

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As I walked my dogs recently on what “should” have been a beautiful and balmy spring morning here in Las Vegas, I was bundled up, head ducked into the wind wishing spring would hurry up and get here. It was a day that reminded me more of mid-December than early May. It also reminded me of how programmed we are to expect things to be predictable (meaning: to be as we want them to be), whether that is in matters of weather or anything else. Life is, by its very nature, unpredictable. And there is no end to the misery we generate expecting it to be otherwise.

Think about it: from the moment we enter the world until the moment of our passing from this life, we try to harness everything, to predict, control and bend circumstances to our will. We listen to weather reports in an effort to help us predict, plan and understand the weather. We attempt to schedule everything in life, hoping against hope that our supreme planning efforts will enable us to eliminate risk and unpredictability. The thinking goes that by controlling every circumstance and situation, or at least most of them, we can eventually relax and be at peace.

Don’t get me wrong. There is tremendous value in organizing and prioritizing our lives. It’s a necessity. Traffic and weather reports have their place. I wouldn’t think of not having adequate insurance. And I also have my scheduling devices–Palm Pilot and Franklin Planner.

But somewhere along the way, we’ve forgotten that despite our greatest efforts to control, life is simply fraught with a certain amount of chaos and unpredictability. We find ourselves fighting what is because “it” hasn’t measured up to what we, in our “infinite wisdom” have decided it should be. But stop to think about it: Has any amount of wishing the weather would change ever changed the weather? Does wanting to be out of traffic get us there any sooner?

The weather is the weather. The traffic is the traffic. The more we embrace and allow the “unexpected” to be the norm, the less we’re thrown off when things don’t meet our expectations. Of course weather and traffic are simply two of the minor irritations and unpredictabilities we face in a given day. But if you’re going to shift your attitude to embrace the unexpected, they’re just as good as anything to help you do that.

Try an experiment this week. When you find yourself fighting a situation (start small with things like the weather and traffic), simply allow yourself to welcome the unexpected. Find a way to be at peace in the situation, whether the wind is blowing in May, you’re stuck in traffic or you’re in the slow lane at the bank or grocery store. Take a deep breath, open your eyes, and give up expecting the situation to be as you think it should be. Instead, allow it to be as it is.

Done consistently, this welcoming of the unexpected, allowing things to be as they are, transforms the relationship between you and the present moment. Coming from this more relaxed and peaceful perspective, you suddenly begin to enjoy the late spring wind storm. Being stuck in traffic and not fighting it, you’re now present enough to notice the beauty of the mountains or the flowers blooming in someone’s yard. And amazingly the “emotional plaque” that builds up from angsting over things that are out of your control begins to melt away.

Don’t take my word for it. This week, make it your mission to welcome the unexpected…and see what new joys and pleasures the unexpected present has in store for you!

Betty

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Quote of the Week
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“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift; that’s why it’s called ‘the present.’” ~~Ziggy

Betty Mahalik has been coaching small business owners, independent professionals and leaders who want to achieve more but stress less, since 1996. Her background includes several years in the broadcasting and public relations fields prior to starting her own firm in 1987. She is an accomplished public speaker and corporate trainer specializing in communications, goal-setting and leveraging your strengths. Since 2001, she has written a weekly motivational message, free to subscribers, titled Monday Morning Coach. To subscribe or learn more about Betty’s coaching and training services, visit http://www.dynamic-coaching.com

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